The first child that you have completely rocks your world in a way that's hard to describe. Somewhere between the blur of exhaustion, the unflattering pj's, crying, late night infomercial watching and 5 minute dinners you realize the nothing will ever be the same again. You're one step away from crazy but stronger for it. For me, child number two was a bit of a blur...less than two years apart? What were we thinking?
So, what has child #3 taught me?Sometimes it's the simplest of things that make everything all better. It's like when my 6 year old hurts himself a cries for a Band Aid. I apply the miracle Band Aid and the crying stops instantly. The Band Aid can't possibly make it feel better that quickly, right? I mean it has no analgesic power but, somehow, it can make it all better. Now, with three kids and a business to manage, something simple like a perfect cup of coffee really can make everything all better. A haircut or a pedicure? Now that's like an entirely new lease on life.
I can also tell you that I desperately miss being able to listen to really loud music in my car. Normally, when I'm alone in my car, I'm that annoying person at the stoplight whose music is so loud that you can hear the lyrics clearly even with the windows rolled up. That used to be me and it was probably a song you don't even like. Now, when I get lucky enough to drive alone, I'm surprised I haven't blown my speakers.
You always hear how "absence makes the heart grow fonder". This is 100% true of my work. While I cherish the fact that I can control my schedule and spend time with Einin, I do miss my work. I miss being able to go to work, dig in and be there for 8 hours. I count myself lucky. I know not everyone can say that. That being said, she is supposed to start her Montessori school in February and I'm freaking but I'll save that for another post. I always knew that I had good friends but, after the last few months, I can safely say that I have tremendous friends. I have the kind of friends that bring you lunch when you're stuck at home on bed rest with high blood pressure. I have friends who throw me baby showers and give me the baby lullaby versions of Green Day songs because they know that they are my favorite band. I have a friend who knew that having a girl was a big deal and gave me her little girl's very first pair of red cowboy boots. I have a best friend who came to the NICU as soon as he heard we were there, gave me a hug, took me to breakfast and made me laugh. I always knew my friends were good but I never knew how good until the stakes were raised.
I have also come to believe that breast milk and Lansinoh are miracle compounds. I'm like the Dad in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". You know how he thinks you can cure anything with Windex? That's me, but with Lansinoh. Chapped Lips? Diaper Rash? Cuts? Burns? Put Lansinoh on it. You know the weird goopy eye thing that babies get, the blocked tear duct? Put breast milk in it. That little tidbit was advice given to me by a medical professional and it worked! No, I wasn't just putting breast milk in my baby's eye randomly. Breast milk is also the miracle cure for a fussy, gassy, scared or tired baby. Can you imagine if one thing could cure adults of all that? Seriously people, the stuff is magic. I'm kind of thinking that if you put the two together it might cure cancer or something.
Finally, baby smiles are like parent crack. One smile and you're done for, you can't get enough. They are all powerful, miracle working moments. Babies smile with their whole bodies too. The smile comes from the inside and they wiggle and squirm as it surfaces, like a little joy volcano. The first smiles are right up there with the first "I love you". It's a life changer.
Christina says:
We're going to start trying for our first kiddo this year and it's posts like this that make me go, "HECK TO THE YES we can TOTALLY do this!" Thanks for sharing, she's amazing.
(01.23.12 @ 11:45 AM)
Danielle Riley says:
This possibly is my favorite blog I have ever read.... Love it so much!!!! She is sooooo cute!!!!!!!!!
(01.23.12 @ 12:11 PM)
Rachel says:
You have the most amazing children who light me up when I get to see them. I can not wait to get to know little Miss E better. But more than amazing children you are one of my biggest role mondels. You go out and take on the world every day and you life your life so authentically. Thanks for another inspiring post. :)
(01.23.12 @ 12:33 PM)
Karey Miller says:
She is SO precious!!!!
(01.23.12 @ 01:33 PM)
courtney says:
She is the most beautiful baby!!!
(01.23.12 @ 01:44 PM)
The last couple of months have been a whirlwind. Our little girl was supposed to be born on November 15th but she made an early appearance on October 25th. I have put off this blog post because I felt like I had no idea where to even begin or what to say. Plus, typing an entire blog post one-handed with a baby in the other arm seemed impossible. Now she is asleep and I guess the best place to start is at the beginning so here goes...
(2 months old, not her first smile but one of my favorites)
A few days later our house was filled with family celebrating Christmas together. A week after that, it was Christmas day, our first Christmas with three kids.
And now, it's 2012 and Einin is a little over 2 months old. She is this amazing, snuggly, bright eyed little wonder. She is a gift and I am so incredibly grateful.
Today, while stopped at a red light, I looked in my rear view mirror at my car full of kids and just smiled. The boys were deep in discussion about how to get me or their Dad to touch the trick pen Sayer had that shocks you and Einin was crying (she hates her car seat). It was everything that the last few months have been, perfect chaos.
About 2 weeks before Einin was born, I started having elevated blood pressure readings. This was a shock because I have always had great blood pressure. I had been working-out throughout my pregnancy and hadn't gained too much weight. I didn't have high BP with my previous pregnancies either. The only criteria I met for pregnancy induced hypertension was that I was 40 years old. After a few days on bed rest, a reprieve from bed rest and a subsequent trip to the hospital, the doctor urged us to induce labor to be on the safe side. So, on October 25th, we checked into the hospital bright and early to have our baby girl.
(1 day old)
The labor was forced and painful. Seeing as it was my last pregnancy, I had hoped for a slow, steady and natural birth. Instead, it was induced and intense but, in the end, she was there in my arms. She was healthy and my blood pressure was immediately back to normal.
(1 day old)The labor was forced and painful. Seeing as it was my last pregnancy, I had hoped for a slow, steady and natural birth. Instead, it was induced and intense but, in the end, she was there in my arms. She was healthy and my blood pressure was immediately back to normal.
Then came the blur of sleepless nights, constant nursing and life in pajamas. I don't think I have ever watched so much HGTV in my life. Little things like a long, hot shower became luxuries.
(3 days old)
(6 days old)
(3 days old)(6 days old)Then she smiled at me. After so many weeks of pouring all of my energy into her, some of it came back. It was a miracle moment.
(2 months old, not her first smile but one of my favorites)Just before Christmas, around 9 pm on a Sunday night, she woke up with a fever. Thankful to call our pediatrician a friend as well, I texted him asking what we should do. After a little bit of back and forth and a few more temperature checks, she and I were sent to TX Children's Hospital's emergency room. They did a few preliminary tests and then came back for more testing. They did a spinal tap on her. They left us to wait for results dropping scary potential scenarios, like spinal meningitis. The image of her laying on the table after that procedure is one that will be burned into my brain forever. We waited for almost 2 hours for the test result. That was one of the longest nights of my life. I just sat there holding her thinking to myself that I could lose her. By the wee hours of the morning, we got the prognosis. She did not have meningitis (so grateful!) but did have a urinary tract infection and we were being admitted. They put an IV in her tiny little hand and sent us to the NICU. Thanks to the amazing doctors and nurses at TCH and to my amazing friends and family, we went home 4 days later with antibiotics.
A few days later our house was filled with family celebrating Christmas together. A week after that, it was Christmas day, our first Christmas with three kids.And now, it's 2012 and Einin is a little over 2 months old. She is this amazing, snuggly, bright eyed little wonder. She is a gift and I am so incredibly grateful.Today, while stopped at a red light, I looked in my rear view mirror at my car full of kids and just smiled. The boys were deep in discussion about how to get me or their Dad to touch the trick pen Sayer had that shocks you and Einin was crying (she hates her car seat). It was everything that the last few months have been, perfect chaos.Thank you universe.
Lea Ciceraro says:
Oh. my. gosh. If I didn't have a little one of my own, I'd say that she is the *most* beautiful baby I have *ever* seen. Your photos, your captions, your stories... all of it made me tear up. Maybe because I almost felt like I was in as much anticipation as you were for her arrival. I remember the day you announced your pregnancy on your blog... I was over the moon for you. And now even more so. She's so gorgeous and looks so happy. Congrats. You did it. :)
(01.03.12 @ 02:50 PM)
Rachel says:
Im so glad Sayer got a replacement pen, that has been on my mind ever since and glad you posted again, I had missed your posts, :)
(01.03.12 @ 10:35 PM)
Kerin says:
I loved reading this entry. I especially love the photo of Finn and Sayer with their sweet baby sister, although all of the photos were great.
(01.03.12 @ 11:11 PM)
Beth Crocker says:
WOW! Such a beautiful family! Congrats. I can imagine what it was all like & tears filled my eyes as I scrolled down to the shot of all three together. How beautiful! Thank God for our Pedi! He ROCKS! Little Einin is adorable!
(01.07.12 @ 07:50 AM)
cheryl says:
she's gorgeous and the photos you shared are incredible. congratulations. wishing you all the best for 2012.
(01.19.12 @ 05:54 AM)
I'm really loving the word "expecting" right about now but it's not quite right. The sun beginning to peek out of the tree shows the feeling but I'm at a loss for the right word. I need one that brings together hopeful, tender, fearful, awkward, clumsy, nervous, happy, impatient, insecure, tired, occasionally bloated, aware and introspective all into one perfect word. Is there one?
In one moment I feel healthy, vibrant and tuned in and an hour later I feel bloated, tired and insecure. I wish I could pinpoint something in particular happening to change the mood but, usually, it seems to happen without cause. I find myself feeling tightly wound and nervous. I'll be full of fear and anxiety and then, just a short while later, I'll feel excited and hopeful. I know what you're thinking, poor Steven. No, don't fret about him. In my typical fashion, I keep a lot of this to myself day to day, which may not be a good thing either but it's me and it's the way I am processing it. I know the sometime craziness of it all is okay too (well, most of the time I know that). I get that I have hormonal stuff happening and that having a baby is always a big deal, even if it's #3.
It's not just me. We're all sort of coming to terms with it. The boys are making their way through it too, asking questions and adjusting to it. They are each doing it in their own way too. Sayer is more fearful and concerned but he's coming around. Most days I am thankful that the whole process takes 9 months. It gives everyone a chance to adjust to the idea, including me.
LaurenDvo says:
Awesome post. Thanks for sharing and for being so honest. Congratulations to you and your family!
(08.17.11 @ 11:30 PM)
darrah parker says:
You summed it up perfectly! I can feel all of those things you listed within one hour (sometimes within minutes). There's really no way to explain it or understand it. I guess it just comes with the territory. Best of luck to you on the rest of your pregnancy! I have really loved seeing your updates!
(08.31.11 @ 05:14 PM)
Earlier this year I submitted a proposal to The Lawndale Art Center for a gallery show and, well, sadly, they didn't accept it. So, what to do next? Today, I submitted again to the same gallery but for a different show. That's what I promised myself I would do this year.
It's an awkward process. I wrapped up my three favorite pieces and printed out the paperwork. I filled it out three times in an effort to get it just right. I double and triple checked everything and made my way over to the gallery. For this show, you have to drop the work off for a jury to review them (vs. sending in images of it). I am happy about that actually because I think the work is more interesting in person. You can really see it the textures and all the layers that way. As I was walking in, there were lots of other artists carrying in their work as well. Even though it made me realize how much competition there is for the space on the walls, it also made me feel better. I kept thinking, we're all in this together. I wasn't the only one filling out the paperwork 3 times and I wouldn't be the only one who got told yes or no.
The judging happens on Saturday and Sunday and on Sunday they will be calling the people whose work was NOT selected. If the work is not selected, then you have to go pick it back up. I'm really hoping they say yes because going back to pick it up if they say no is really not going to be fun. As you can imagine, my Sunday afternoon is going to be spent staring down my cell phone and hoping that I do not get a call. We were allowed up to three submissions so they may accept one, two or three. I have to remember that if/when my phone rings on Sunday afternoon.
So, sweet friends, on Saturday and Sunday send me good luck vibes, pray, maybe do a rain dance or meditate on the visual of them accepting my work. I would appreciate anything of the sort that you can send my way.
It's an awkward process. I wrapped up my three favorite pieces and printed out the paperwork. I filled it out three times in an effort to get it just right. I double and triple checked everything and made my way over to the gallery. For this show, you have to drop the work off for a jury to review them (vs. sending in images of it). I am happy about that actually because I think the work is more interesting in person. You can really see it the textures and all the layers that way. As I was walking in, there were lots of other artists carrying in their work as well. Even though it made me realize how much competition there is for the space on the walls, it also made me feel better. I kept thinking, we're all in this together. I wasn't the only one filling out the paperwork 3 times and I wouldn't be the only one who got told yes or no.
The judging happens on Saturday and Sunday and on Sunday they will be calling the people whose work was NOT selected. If the work is not selected, then you have to go pick it back up. I'm really hoping they say yes because going back to pick it up if they say no is really not going to be fun. As you can imagine, my Sunday afternoon is going to be spent staring down my cell phone and hoping that I do not get a call. We were allowed up to three submissions so they may accept one, two or three. I have to remember that if/when my phone rings on Sunday afternoon.
So, sweet friends, on Saturday and Sunday send me good luck vibes, pray, maybe do a rain dance or meditate on the visual of them accepting my work. I would appreciate anything of the sort that you can send my way.
Rachel says:
Farrah that is so exciting, I admire your courage so much. I've just really started to feel comfortable in my creative element, and by that I mean I still premise anyone seeing anything I've made with "It's okay if you think it's terrible, I'm not sure I have any clue what I'm doing". Reading your blog and seeing your courage gives me some. Thanks for putting yourself out there, here on the blog and in the art world. You are inspiring as is your work (especially "In the shade of the trees", I think about that piece often and visit its spot on your blog.) Keep it up, I have nothing but good wishes and thoughts going your way.
(06.16.11 @ 09:41 AM)
I keep hearing bits and pieces about how the postal service is going under and losing money. Yesterday I had a experience that made the reasons for this very clear. First off, I had been driving around with this box in my car for days putting off the post office and avoiding it. It needed to go out though so I headed over to the west university branch with my big package in tow. Despite being the middle of the morning there was, of course, a line. There was also one employee servicing the line.
While I waited, an older man came up to the counter to do something simple like buy stamps only to be told they do not accept checks or credit cards but only debit cards and cash. My guess by the looks of him was that he didn't have or use a debit card and, I guess, he didn't have enough cash on hand. So, despite his long wait, he left empty handed. I watched the postal clerk and, even when a little girl with a care package to mail smiled at her, she never smiled back. She was like an unhappy statue.
My turn finally came. My box was big and to send it priority was going to be about $30. Parcel was $15. Fine, except that to send it parcel (she tells me stone faced), I had to purchase insurance, a roll of tape, a new label and the postage. I could not use her tape or a piece of scrap paper or even her pen. I also had to get out of line to do all of this and then wait in line again. I left with my box and went next door West U Boxes Pack and Ship. There was one person in line ahead of me and the smiling clerk taped up the box and affixed a new label without question or cost. They accepted my credit card and even personally emailed the tracking number to me later that day. The cost was around $23.
The whole experience got me thinking about customer service in general though. I'm wondering is customer service on the decline or have we become more demanding? Or both? I do think we've become insensitive as consumers and expect more and more for less. We're living in an instant gratification age and having to wait for things makes us crazy.
We want it all, even when we can't or don't want to pay for it. We have amazing technology all around us but freak out when our phones drop calls. Many of us have become rude to the people who are there to help us. We blah-blah on our phones while checking out at stores ignoring the other person in front of us like they were a robot. Maybe that is where my postal clerk got her affect? Maybe she wasn't always an unhappy statue?
I've been trying really hard to remember the days when you called a company and got a human, their voice mail or a busy signal. Now we are all waiting in line in the order that our calls have been received. Even information (411) has gone auto, which makes me crazy because they never understand what I am saying. I can remember the days before cell phones when you had a cassette tape in your answering machine but before that, not so much.
I've worked in the service industry as a bartender, in the kitchen at restaurants and even as a telemarketer (I know, the worst). Now, as a business owner myself, I know how hard it can be to keep everyone happy. Really, it's impossible. Things happen, bad days happen and mistakes happen. We're just people and people have flaws and limits. Employees may be new or unsure. The boss can't always be there and even the boss makes mistakes too.
So, what do you think? Have we become too demanding? Are we demanding more because we see customer service and personal interactions slipping away? Are we as much to blame as the seemingly unfriendly person behind the counter?
Rachel says:
Customer Service is the number one thing that keeps me coming back. A company can have a great product but I'm an emotional shopper I want a great product but not at the cost of a great experience. I have come to accept that sometimes that means you pay more but I never feel like I'm not getting my money's worth. A great example of excellent customer service is NancyBoy (I hope you're okay with me plugging them on here) They are a San Francisco company that makes mostly bath products, including that amazing smelling body oil I used in San Francisco last summer with you. But I always come back because when you email them you get a real email back, not an automated one. They listen to your comments that you make about your order, give helpful hints, and make my happiness their top priority rather than their bottom line. That goes along way. This is why I use the postage meter at my office for large mail and by stamps at the grocery store.
(06.08.11 @ 02:36 PM)
Kelly says:
I never expect good customer service from any governmental agency or large corporation. Your experience at the post office is so typical of any of those 'services' and exactly what I've said our medical community will be if in fact the government takes it over as well. Small businesses are forced to provide good customer service because of competition. Photographers are in the same boat with lots of competition out there. Large companies are in the business to make as much money as they can for their investors with little regard to their actual customer base. Again, small business is the only area where I expect good customer service and if I don't receive it, I go to someone else. But I do believe people are harder to please these days. I wonder if at times it is because they know that doing business with smaller businesses allows them to be more picky and demanding because you know as well as I do that it wouldn't matter how unhappy they were with a large company or government agency - they wouldn't care. So small business gets the butt end of unhappy people with a sense of entitlement. Just my 2 cents...
(06.08.11 @ 06:31 PM)
Alison Jefferies says:
I think we have become more demanding in terms of service. You can usually return most things, so when you are told you can't its frustrating. Or when you walk into a store and want to be "sold to" because you are ready to buy, but don't have a clue employees are willing to answer your questions, but if you don't even know what to ask it can be frustrating. I have managed people like the woman working at the post office when I worked in hotels. When you talk to these employees about being more friendly or helpful, they just don't understand. They think that they are being friendly or helpful and when you ask them how they would like to be treated in that situation they think they are providing perfect service. Of course, they couldn't have acted that way in an interview and gotten the job. I don't know what they are thinking.
(06.08.11 @ 09:16 PM)
Kerin says:
I think that you're always going to have a mixed experience regardless of where you do business. I've had my share of unfriendly interactions at the post office with indifferent employees who do their job with an efficiency that just seems uncaring and disinterested. However, I can also recall several post office employees who have ALWAYS been pleasant and friendly regardless of the long lines, time of year, or grumpy customer who just left their place at the counter. From time to time I've also given some thought to the term "going postal", and I've wondered what drove the rash of p.o. workers who brought violence into the workplace. It hasn't happened for some time now, but what about working in a p.o. pushed them over the edge? I think there are lots of customers who go into a p.o. dreading it, expecting the worst, and ooze those sentiments all over the employees. I mean, really, who ever says that they can't wait to go to the p.o. regardless of how friendly one of the employees may be? At least in a restaurant or a bar you're going in to enjoy food and drink, or in a department store you're somewhat hopeful that you'll find clothes or shoes that fit just right... I'm also going to guess that except for scheduled breaks, there's never really any "down time" behind the counter of the post office.
(06.08.11 @ 09:30 PM)