During dessert tonight Finn paused and looked at me and said, "Mommy, I only eat the icing and not the cake part".  Then he sat and meticulously separated the icing from the cake as if performing some sort of surgery on the cake.  While I was watching him eat these big gobs of icing (blech!) I was struck by how fitting that statement was.  Indeed in life, Finn is all about the icing. 

He hates to get dressed in the morning (and fights it bitterly) preferring Pj's over more restrictive, scratchier clothes.  He pleads, "no hard pants!".  I go to great pains to buy him the softest, most comfortable clothes but nothing is as good as jammies.  Jammies are like the icing of clothes.  You know that feeling at the end of a long day when you slip into a great pair of comfortable pj's...ahhhh, icing baby! 

Finn has a lovey that he is completely attached to.  It used to have velvet on one side and look something like this:

Now the velvet is gone and the ruffle detailing is also gone on 2 of the 4 sides.  It used to be baby blue and now it looks more white.  It is so worn out.  It is the icing of blankets.  I'd post a picture of it but he won't let me have it long enough.

Finn likes to pour out all the hot wheels and not put them back.  He likes to splash the water out of tub, pee in the yard and snuggle with absolute abandon.  He is a consummate snuggler.  Every morning he likes to start his day sitting curled up on my lap, lovey in hand.  He'll find a perfect spot on one of the ruffles and rub it between his thumb and first finger.  He is hell on wheels but he needs a little "icing" to get him started first thing in the morning.

He started giving huge hugs early on, as a small baby.  He's sensitive and sweet.

Finn loves destruction.  He likes to cut up paper, scoop all the dirt out of the potted plants and throw the sand out of the sand box.  He's passionate.  He gets mad with passion too.  He finds it hard to not hit sometimes, cries out loud and stands his ground.  Earlier tonight when I was asking him to "make a good choice" and do what I was asking of him, he looked right at me and said, "I like to make bad choices".  He's going to do me in when he's 16.   Just like icing, he's a little quick to melt down. 

Just a second ago, he turned to me and held up his milk sippy and said, "look Mommy, it's my beer!".  He is full of personality and loves to laugh.  He's much sillier than Sayer and loves to make you laugh too.  He dances and sings.  He can be the life of the party.

He's a handful for sure but he makes me be a better parent.  His idiosyncrasies require me to be more patient.  I have to pay attention, close attention.  When I do, though, I really get to enjoy the sweet parts more.  It's like that little bit of cake in there helps the icing taste even more sweet.  Finn will learn this too as he grows up.

My best hope is that all that hedonistic fire will serve him well.  I think he's going to be strong with big opinions and a firm idea of where he wants to go.  He's not afraid to ask for what he wants and he's not bashful about the big gobs of icing on his plate either.  He knows what he likes.  He likes the icing.

This week I thought we'd take a break from the more technical aspects of our cameras and try something fun.  Today I am going to talk about getting great expressions out of your children and how to approach your photography in a new way.

Objective:  to learn and experiment with new techniques that are aimed at capturing fun and genuine expressions from your subjects.

If you have ever been to my studio and watched me photograph kids you might have noticed that I never ask them to smile.  Kids are real in every way and when they try and fake a smile it looks really, really forced and not at all real.  This is not bad news at all.  You just need to change the way you look at the dilemma.  The best part of this is that when you do get a big genuine smile it is truly that- BIG and GENUINE.  It is the kind of smile that is full of life and personality and make you smile yourself just looking at it.  The other bonus about little kids is that they don't mind being silly or even looking silly.  In fact, they think it's hilarious and they are (for the most part) more than willing to share some really fun expressions with you if you're game too.

I always ask kids to show me their silly face, their mad face, their super happy face, their sad face, etc.  I laugh and make the same faces back and that gets them into it and they start laughing in between.  It is in those in between moments that you can get some real gems.  I happen to also like the silly faces too.  I also really appreciate the serious faces and I can't resist a pouting or crying face either.  Don't get too hung up on them looking right into the camera or having a perfect smile.  In fact, some kids are downright serious and that is just who they are.  In that case, that is something to celebrate, appreciate and photograph.

Last week we were in Colorado.  The house was full of kids (7 under 7 to be exact).  I was sitting in the study with three of the kids.  The light was great so I grabbed my camera and started asking them to be silly.  They were all 3 so it was pretty easy to go that direction.  Here is Finnian.  I asked him to make a sad face and then a mad face and then he let out a huge belly laugh.

I think one of the big tricks here is that you have to be silly too.  Instead of making them "sit still" and "say cheese", you are just letting them be who they are in a fun and silly way.  It's fun, I promise.  You may even discover your own silly side in the process.

Zoe was all smiles- in between, at the beginning and at the end.  She reacted the most to me making funny faces at her.

Steven (my husband) always says that he never heard me sing before we had kids.  Now you might find me singing, doing silly walks with Finnian (yes, like Monty Python) or pretending to be a Star Wars character with Sayer.  Kids have an amazing way of bringing that out of us.  Not only do they not care if you look crazy or silly, they want you to!  They love you for it.

All that being said, don't turn away from the serious faces too.  If your 8 month old is sitting happily playing on the rug and the light is nice, you may just let him be and take some pictures just as he is.  Here's a little serious in between moment of Zoe.

Here are a few other shots from that day just to give you some ideas.  One thing I love to do is ask kids to scream as loud as they can, kiss each other, jump around, dance, and so on.  It might be hard at first to manage the technical aspects of the shooting while also shooting fast trying to get the in between moments but, with practice, I think you'll start to get comfortable.  I also like to be close.  It never hurts to be at tickling distance when all else fails.

Who would have guessed that when I asked Zoe to kiss Alexander, he would also take that opportunity to pick his nose!?

Dancing!

Falling down and rolling around

So, what's your homework?  Go play, make ridiculous faces and noises, let your kids scream at the top of their lungs (and laugh at it), dance with them, say forbidden gross out words to your boys to make them belly laugh...GO BE SILLY and take your camera with you.  The worst thing that can happen is that you have an awesome time and the pictures aren't so great.  If you get some good ones, please post them in the comments area.  I love comments and can't wait to see what you come up with.

My kids have amazing imaginations.  I love seeing their minds work and I especially like it when they share it with me.  A few nights ago, Sayer and I had dinner out just the two of us and his Granny.  While we waited on Granny to arrive, we started talking about Star Wars.  It seems like that is all we talk about lately.  He's completely obsessed, absorbed and engaged in all things Star Wars. 

So, we are talking about Obi Wan Kenobi (had to go check the spelling on that one) and how in "A New Hope" (yes, he knows all the real names of the movies and not just the numbers) he gets in a battle with Darth Vader.  I say that Darth Vader "kills" him.  Sayer corrects me and says "No, he isn't killed, he gets made into a spirit".  Happy to hear him say it in that way I agree and say, "oh, that's right!".  So, the conversation moves on and he decides to "be" the spirit of Obi Wan and asks me who I want to "be".  So, now we are spirits and playing together.  I ask him if two spirits were to have a playdate, what would they do?  One adorable thing too is that he still can't say his R very well so it sounds like "Spiwits".  Anyway, back to the playdate...so he tells me that they "would walk back and forth through each other because they can because they are made of blue air".  Then they would play fight and if they got their hands just right they would move through each other too.  I ask him if spirits have snacks on their playdates.  He says, with a look up and a sigh, "yes, but they would just fall out of the back of their heads".  Then he goes on to say that they do, however, drink.  He says they can drink "water, juice, hot chocolate milk, hot strawberry milk, hot regular milk, red juice, apple juice and sprite and that it goes all down their body and through their intestines and out of their penis and becomes spirit pee". LOL!  It's just too much.  The missing piece to the story of course is the hand gestures and the facial expressions and the sound of his voice.  I just sit back in awe and in love. 

All this amazingness does have a downside though and I know you fellow parents know what I'm talking about.  It's when you're trying to pack up the car and get to the airport to leave from Colorado to get back to Houston and everyone is tired and sick and you find Finnian out playing in the snow with his car getting his clothes wet and dirty (and all the dry clothes are packed away).

The world is just so different for them.  It's all open and exciting and new.  It's irresistible and they are insatiable.  I try and imagine what it would be like to be them.  To have my mind filled with Obi Wan Kenobi, to relish in eating snow every chance that I could and to be so excited about tomorrow's offerings that when I look at the full night of sleep ahead of me I feel like crying because it is so very long.  I could never do it.  Their stamina is something I can't imagine having.

The trick then is to try and take a cue from them and find some place in between right?  For me that moment comes when they invite you into their silliness, their imagination, the crazy dreams, the role play, the bedtime stories and those priceless moments where they just want you to sit still and snuggle them.

Why is this all in my head?  Well, I am a lonely, lovesick Mommy.  My kids are away for 5 days enjoying a visit with their grandparents.  I love my time alone for sure and it is so nice to see yourself for a moment flying semi-solo but I do miss them so much.  So, because I can't, go give yours an extra snuggle.  I'll have to wait until Sunday for mine.  Happy weekend!

While I would like to say that snowmobiling was the best time and so much fun, I have to be real and say it was really, really challenging.  I had this idea in my head that we would be passengers and that a skilled, experienced driver would be showing us the awesome sights.  Sayer and I get there and I find out that it will be ME that is driving.  Mind you, I have seen snow maybe 3 times in my life and have never driven a snowmobile.  This idea sounds really scary to me. 

I don't want to chicken out and Sayer is super excited to go so I dig deep and sign us up.  We pick out our gear and get on a bus headed to wards to top of the mountains.  It has been snowing like crazy but there was a break and the sky was blue so I felt pretty good about it. 

When we get to the mountain top the sky is no longer blue and it is snowing again.  We are lined up next to the snowmobiles while the guide gives us a (literally) 5 minute lesson on how to operate them.  They look big, heavy and unweildy.  My anxiety level is so high at this point that I am starting to scan for the bus and decide which instructor I am going to tell that I'm not doing it.  Meanwhile Sayer is getting more excited and picking out which snowmobile we're going to ride.  Again, I dig deep and go ahead and start picking one out.

We get on and I go to put on my helmet.  I have never worn an all over type of helmet like this.  It goes all around your jaw and face, hugs your cheeks and has a visor and not very much of a peripheral field of vision.  Why is this relevant?  I am really claustrophobic.  I had no idea that a helmet would freak me out and it may have been worse because I was already so anxious.  I try breathing, I make mental conversation, "It's ok, it's ok, you'll be fine, just get going and you'll be fine".  Take it off, breathe and put it back on (a couple of times).

The guide comes over and I confess to him that I'm wigging out.  He was really nice and reassured me that it was okay.  I felt a little better (minutely) but now I also feel embarrassed.  I feel like a wimp, a scaredy cat, a weenie.  Those were the exact words in my head.  I just kept thinking, if I could just call Steven or Brene and get some support I'd be ok.  Brene would tell me that I am having a shame moment and that my feelings were real and I wasn't "a weenie".  Steven would have offered to come get me and would have told me that he loved me.  All of which sounded really good at the moment.

It's showtime, the snowmobiles are revving up and it's time to go.  I bite down and push in the throttle.  The guide is right in front of me as we head off.  To my immediate right is a snowy drop- not sure how far but the end could not be seen from my vantage point.  I go slow and try and keep behind the guide.  It goes this way for a while.  The claustrophobia subsides simply because I am so concentrated on keeping us upright, behind the guide and NOT flying off into the snowy abyss alongside us. 

This would not have been so hard if it had not been snowing so hard that it was what they call "white out conditions".  My helmet visor kept fogging up.  It was hard to discern where the trail was and where the edges of the trail were.  At one point I went off the trail and sort of crashed into a snow drift.  It was humiliating.  I felt like everyone was thinking, "she's so slow" and "can you believe she crashed?" .

I know this story sounds awful and you're probably wondering why you're still reading it.  It does get better, I promise.

As we head on, Sayer starts to get bored and actually falls asleep against me.  I have no idea how he could do that.  It was such  an disconnected moment.  Here I was terrified and white knuckled at the helm and he was ready for a snooze.  It made me laugh and laughter is always good in a stressfull situation.

The snow came and went and when the visibility got better so did the driving.  At one point, we starting to go through the forest, which was amazing!  I mean amazing in a "Planet Earth", Discovery HD TV, God's country kind of way.  It was breathtaking.  The trees stretched up so high and the snow was epic.  It will stand out in my mind as one of the most beautiful places that I have ever seen.  It felt like a secret, a privilege, something so special that only a few people have witnessed it.  In reality I am sure many, many people see and have seen it but in that moment it felt like just me and Sayer alone in some magical place.  Sayer even woke up for it and let out a few "weeees!" as we went up and down hills and in between huge trees.

Finally it was time to head back.  My hands were hurting from the cold and my nerves were shot.  I had become a lot more comfortable but I was ready to be done and so was Sayer.  3 hours on that machine was all that I needed.

We got back to the bus all in one piece.  Our guide managed a picture of us with my iphone.  This is how Sayer rode the whole way- in front of me leaning back in to my chest.  AT one point the driver had asked, "would you feel more comfortable if he rode with me?" and my answer was an emphatic "No".  It was really conforting to have him there actually.

 

Everyone seems to be on the mend and we were able to get out and have some fun today.  We went sledding.  Being born and raised in Texas, snow is way foreign to me so I have never been sledding.  The day started off with some new shades for the boys.  You have to wear sunglasses here because it's all so white and bright.  My favorite part about these sunglasses are the flames on the sides!  They didn't have a pair in my size...

So, as much as I hate to admit it, my boys fight like crazy.  They are just so close in age and both boys and they just compete.  They fight over almost everything.  They do have these wonderful moments of awesome sharing and teamwork though and this happened to be one of them.  Normally they would be fighting over who was going to hold the rope or who was pulling to hard, too fast, too much, who was going to be first, who was going to be fastest, whose sled it was....

On our first sled ride down with me and the two boys, we crashed.  Like I said, I have never been sledding.  We careened into a snow bank, Sayer lost his glasses and bit his lip, Finn lost a glove and I got snow up my jean legs.  It wasn't my most graceful moment.  We recovered though.  We found glasses, kissed boo-boos, replaced gloves and shook off the snow.  As the day wore on I discovered that Seven is a much better sledder than I am.  Finn and I opted to do more watching.  he let me take some cute pics of him too.

Sayer, on his way back for another go.  Actually, he was waiting for Steven to let him ride back up the hill.  He's smart.  If I could have gotten Steven to carry me or pull me back up I would have too.

Sometimes it is hard to know when to leave the party.  When you have a 3 year old, the signs become very clear.  This is an example of Finn saying something like this, "I have grown tired of sledding, I would like some lunch and maybe juice, and then I think I need to lay down and rest." 

On our way back to the car I looked up and saw this coolness.  I loved the way the snow made the sun almost look like a moon.

It's almost dinner and the snow is still falling.  It's really beautiful here.  I feel so far away and it seems not quite real.  It's just all white everywhere except for little houses peeking out along the mountain.  I imagine that this would be a great place to write a book, be an artist or go totally crazy.  I also imagine that summer here must be incredible.  The snow is hiding most of the landscape but it seems to me that it is full of little creeks, huge forests and meadows of green grass.  One cool little sight that I am planning to explore is this cemetery down the road that is totally covered in snow.  All you can see are the tops of the grave stones peeking out from the snow.  I already know the picture that I want- I saw it from the car window.

I smell dinner cooking.  Our travel mates are great chefs so we've been pampered with nice meals.  Time to eat!