Maybe it's because I'm beat down tired or maybe it's because I have so many things on my to-do list but, whatever the reason, the reality is that I'm super anxious. Right this moment I am supposed to be finishing the layout of my upcoming book but my brain is mush and it's not happening. Instead of working on my project, I'm obsessing about...
Whether or not I should start doing more location shooting.
Which Photoshop action set I want to buy from this particular vendor.
Whether I should read the book on my nightstand or listen to my audiobook on my phone.
That I really should have my DNA checked to see which diseases I have a propensity towards.
That eating the ice cream earlier AND drinking this beer is really out of control.
The concept of dark matter in the universe.
And, that the boys are going to get fevers while visiting my parents over the next 2 days.
When I say I'm obsessing, I mean it. I'm not just thinking about these random things, I'm stewing. I'm running them over and over in a torturous loop in my brain. It's like a bunch of moths just flitting around banging against the insides of my head.
My seven year old does this too. When he runs himself down, plays too hard and eats too little, he just implodes. He's 7, though, and can fall apart in ways that I can't. When he implodes, we scoop him up, bathe him, feed him and put him in bed as fast as possible. Perhaps I need to take a cue from that and perform the same emergency measures on myself.
or maybe I just need some cardio...or, a massage? to watch an episode of True Blood? more beer? some oreos? Nyquil?